December 2006

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Saturday, December 2, 2006:  I sit on the couch while tears stream down my face.  One week, 7 days prior, our life, his life was vastly, drastically different.

Sunday, December 3, 2006:  We bring up the Christmas tree.  My husband and the boys hang up a couple of ornaments.  I can’t bring myself to participate… We sit, my husband and I, after the boys have gone to bed.  The tree, lights shining, three lonely ornaments…me with tears shining, pouring down my face.  My heart is shattered… last Christmas we were in such a different place.

Saturday, December 9, 2006:  I spent an entire week attempting to be strong.  I counted carbohydrates, I calculated insulin, and I woke up at 2am and 4am to check blood glucose levels.  I stuck my baby with needles to keep him safe, healthy, alive. Today I lost it.  When my husband was on duty and took the boys outside, I closed the bathroom door and sat against it and cried.  I got into the shower and cried…

Are We There Yet (Written by Ingrid Michaelson)

“They say that home is where the heart is

I guess I haven’t found my home

And we keep driving round in circles

Afraid to call this place our own.


And are we there yet?


They say there’s linings made of silver

Folded inside each raining cloud

Well we need someone to deliver

Our silver lining now


And are we there yet?

And are we there yet?

And are we there yet?

Home, home, home

Home, home, home


They say you’re really not somebody

Until somebody else loves you

Well I am waiting to make somebody somebody

Soon


And are we there yet?

And are we there yet?

And are we there yet?

Home, home, home.

Home, home, home.


Where you will lie on the rug

While I play with the dog

And it won’t be too much

Cuz’ this is too much

Cuz’ this is too much for me to hold

This is too much for me to hold


Home, home, home


And are we there yet?

And are we there yet?

And are we there yet?”


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